New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
