You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
