i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm sobbing to NWA
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
