I cockslap morals
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
