What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
