i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
