last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
