She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
