He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
