But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
