I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
