margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
