You made me cry and you don't even care
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
