i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
