margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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