I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
