why didn't you poke me back
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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