Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
