You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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