i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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