I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
