She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
