Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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