yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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