Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
