Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
