My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
