covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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