I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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