Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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