So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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