We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
