Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
soo... how was my night?
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