I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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