I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
