I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize