in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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