Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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