She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
