He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
