in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
