no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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