I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
