Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I need to calm my uterus...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
