I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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