dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
