Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
