Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
