Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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