No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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