Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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