We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
