Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I want to have your abortion
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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