For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I smell stomach acid.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
