whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
