Your mouth is God's brothel.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize