tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
love makes seman taste better
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
