I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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