Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
