There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
