Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
