office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I need a burrito and a hug.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
