Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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