i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
