Swine flu. Run for my life!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
